The Wierdest Day
by Zerousy
Summary: Riddick finds a magic lamp and gives it to one of his friends. This story was a class assignment in the beginning and turned into a somewhat kiddy fanfiction. More summary inside.


**Disclaimer:**** I don't own Chronicles of Riddick, don't sue me. I make no money from this story.**

**AN:**** I wrote this story out of boredom, I think. Otherwise it was a class assignment. Which was like back in 2006-2007. So sorry if it sucks. If it sucks so much, review about it. If you actually liked this, review about. Either way, I just wanna know how awful or good it was. It's just a silly story.**

**The weirdest day.**

It was the weirdest day ever. I was walking towards my friend Richard B. Riddick, when out of nowhere he comes up behind me and grabs my neck and tries to choke me. I know he's just playing but it's still a little scary. He says to me "You want to know what I found at Helion Prime?"

"Sure," I said. He let me go and I turned around to face him. He had his goggles on so I couldn't see his eyes. He was as bald as ever.

"I found a lamp and it was dirty. I know you collect junk so I just thought you might like it." He handed me the lamp. It looked so dusty I just had to clean it.

I rubbed the dust off and it glowed brightly. Then this strange genie guy came out and said I got three wishes. Riddick wasn't very impressed, but I sure was. "Ok. I want three things. I want Jack to be alive again, because she didn't deserve to die. I want that one guy to be alive, what was his name Riddick?"

"I don't remember, the Purifier?"

"That's the guy! Mainly because he was a really nice guy too. And I want to be a Furyain warrior, just like Riddick here. I'm tired of just being a weakling."

So the genie granted my wishes and Jack and the Purifier guy came back to life while I became a Furyan warrior. It was weird because now I had all these new memories as well as the old ones. Riddick was really shocked now. I have to say, the man doesn't get freaked at all. Ever! I knew he loved Jack. She was the only one to ever see him as a hero. But that was just the beginning. I had no clue as to what that Purifier guy was going to do. He came up to me, grabbed my hand and said, "I thank you! I owe you my life. Will you marry me?"

Now I was the one freaked out. "You don't even know me!" I protested. It wasn't that he was ugly. Oh no, he was gorgeous. It was just that I thought I looked too much like a dude for anyone to guess I was a girl. I guess that genie made me look like one too.

"But I can see you are a good woman and I owe you so much. I want to marry you! What is your name?" I just stared at him like he was crazy but I knew he knew something was good in me.

"Celeste, what's yours? I can't just keep calling you "The Purifier", it sounds too weird."

His pale eyes looked right into mine. "Marcus," he said. I looked around for Riddick and Jack and noticed they were getting back to their old habits of fighting when they would get on a touché subject about feelings. They would never admit they were in love.

I faced Marcus again. He waited so patiently for my answer. Oh well, I wasn't getting any younger. I'm only 27. "Ok, if you're sure about this."

So we got hitched by Furyan tradition and all in the same day. It turned out he was a Furyan as well. Then the genie came again and said that he made a mistake and that I still had one wish left because I was already a Furyan. I guess I have to work on the worrier part. So I wished for the planet Furya to be revived with all it's once inhabitants. I never knew where I was from. I think Riddick knew and didn't tell me because he didn't really care. Damn him! He is such a jerk. Well, he's Riddick. What can I say? Just that he's a jerk and I hate his guts most of the time. The only reason he ever stuck around was for me to fix what he broke. That's just like him. It's not like I was ever his friend. I wish I was though… Then maybe I wouldn't be so alone sometimes. But you know what got even weirder? The damn genie came back again and said I had to get rid of the lamp.

Now I was pissed. Why did he bother coming back just to tell me that I couldn't keep the damn lamp. I liked that lamp. I'm a junkie. I like junk. And that was MY junk!!

Later that day, well technically an hour later but whatever, I went shopping for dinner to cook and remembered that I know squat about cooking. Now that was embarrassing! Marcus just laughed at me and said that it didn't matter if I knew how to cook or how to fly, just as long as I was good at something. As we were walking home I realized someone was following us. My day was not going good. First I get a cool lamp, a husband, then my lamp taken away and now someone was following us?? This was driving me mad.

Ok, so getting a husband was ok, but the rest of the day just sucked. And who the hell is following us? "Marcus, am I going paranoid or is someone following us?"

He merely stared at me for a minute. "We're being followed."

"Thought so."

"Do not worry. I can get rid of them."

"It's not them I'm worried about."

"Then what are you worried about?"

"I'm worried because I always thought I was paranoid. Now I'm sane??? This sucks! Now how am I going to make fun of myself?"

"You make fun of yourself?"

"Of course I do! It's better than being rude. Plus, there's so much stupid in my life that I have to make fun of it. Otherwise I will go insane."

He gave me a weird look. "You are not stupid."

"Hey, it's my story; I'll tell it like it is."

"Ok, don't get mad at me."

I took his hand and apologized. "I'm sorry. I'm not mad at you. It's just that I LIKE being called stupid even though I'm a genius in cybernetics. Why else would Riddick hang around me?" While we were talking our stalker decided he was tired of following us and just stole my purse.

Marcus tried to go after him but I stopped him. "Don't you want your purse back?"

"No. I hated that thing anyway. It's not like there was anything in it anyway."

**The End.**


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